Perfection

Today was just one of those days, nothing bad happened, there was nothing to make me sad or upset. Yet all day there was a cloud over my head. However when I got home, all was redeemed.

On my drive home I enjoyed the sun shining and good music to make me smile. As I got out of the car my dog and husband greeted me at the door welcoming me home. PD was very excited and wanted to play so I ran around the yard enjoying more sunshine. After a while I lied down on the grass and looked into the sky. The sun started to wash away my day and leave happiness. Phil came and joined me and we lied on the grass with our dog just enjoying the day.

After a while we got up and moved to the porch to our hammock where we snuggled up in the warm air and I slept. There is nothing more perfect and peaceful than a warm spring day snuggled on a hammock with my head on my husband’s chest sleeping peacefully. These moments make all the bad ones better.

OH and guess what? I wore a skirt and sandals for the first time this season… all is well in the world.

Our New Tile!

Here are pictures of the bathroom so far! Phil is working on the grout today... We might be able to use it TOMORROW!

Ladies and Gentleman… We Have TILE!

Over the weekend we made some great progress on that bathroom that I am totally excited about! Phil and I were both volunteering at church this weekend, so our time to work on projects was quite limited. My goal for the weekend was to completely tile the shower, however in order to do this we had quite a bit of prep work first! Saturday after getting home from church around 7:30pm we had to fur out a wall and put up the cement board so that we could tile the next day. Then Sunday when we got home from church we hit the bathroom hard! After a few road blocks… like not having the correct tools to cut natural stone and a trip to Home Depot … we started the actual tiling around 4pm. It started out really difficult, but after we both got hang of how to work with the stone and a good system down it started to go up really fast. My sister was our runner and helped us sort the stones and always made sure we had enough ready. Because the mortar would dry out if left out, once we started there was no going back, so we were up tiling until 1:30 in the morning! It looks awesome and both Phil and I are really happy with the way it turned out. Now I just need to stay awake at work!

Today we are going to do the grout, then tomorrow we can seal it and we will have a fully functioning shower! I am very excited for this!

I will post pictures soon... for some reason they will not upload today!

Finally Friday

This morning I have been working on things for running for World Vision… and man this stuff gets me excited!! Honestly, I am sitting here itching so badly to get out and run. There are about twenty-five people who are running with Northwestern for World Vision! It is so cool to see others catch the vision for what we are doing and join us. Also just having the accountability and support of others is going to be great… now I just need to be able to run!

It feels strange to be looking forward to something like this knowing it will probably be the hardest I have ever made my body work and not be able to train! Honestly God is teaching me how to rely on him so much right now. Even these last few days I feel like I have grown so much, and I am feeling thankful for the things God is bringing me through.

Over the last few weeks I have been going through some pretty rough stuff with my family that I can’t share right now, but have been really weighed down and feeling pretty lost. At the start of this week I realized that I really needed to get some things out, but really did not know who to turn to. So I just started to pray that God would bring people into my life, and he has! Over the last two days there have been a few people that I have been able to talk to and I am SO grateful! Those of you know who you are, thank you. Honestly the conversations and the love and compassion you have shown me has been overwhelming.

This weekend both Phil and I are volunteering at church. In between things we are also hoping to get the shower tiled in the bathroom! We will see how far we get… Hope everyone has a great weekend!

On reading...

Yesterday I was working on a paper for grad school and started looking through our book shelf to find some resources for the paper. As I was looking through them I realized that there are a ton of books on my shelf that I have bought and never read. You see, I like to think of myself as a learner, and really, I do enjoy learning. However sometimes my intentions and actions do not line up. As I looked through the books I realized there were so many good things I could learn and got excited about being more intentional about reading things.
SO, here I go… I am going to start being more intentional! The first book I am going through is Praise Habit by David Crowder. My Mom gave it to my a while ago, and I have just not made it a priority, but that’s going to change! The book is about how our whole lives are praise, not just our worship or “set aside times.” In the first chapter he talks about how he as a kid would “find” God in different things, church, bible study, camp ect. Then as a junior in high school went through a traumatic time and felt lost in “finding” God. To hear how he started living a life of praise from this is really cool. I am looking forward to reading the rest and sharing what I am learning!

What books have you read latley that you enjoyed?

Job Update: Phil has a few different options from his company; it looks likely that he will start on Monday again. We are very thankful for Gods provision through this all. I feel like every time we are in this situation we grown and learn more about who God is. It is just amazing how God takes care of his children, he sure it taking care of us!

Bathroom Update: We have taken the last few days “off” since we were fairly burned out from the weekend! However that is about to change! Tonight we are going to finish the plumbing to the bathtub and get the cement board up on the walls so we can tile! My hope it to be able to have a working shower by next week! Phil is at Home Depot right now getting a few more things including a toilet that we are going to install temporarily until we are ready to tile the floors.

Thanks for your comments yesterday, its so great to know I am not the only one!

Where’s the re-set button?

Some days I would like there to be a reset button for my life. Or for that matter a rewind would work well to. The things that I do and say sometimes I wish so badly I could do over, unfortunately time keeps moving on… This morning was one of those mornings. I woke up at 4am, wide awake ready to start the day, only it was 4am and who starts their day that early when they don’t have to… so I made the choice to stay in bed, just for the record, I should have just gotten up! Since I could not sleep I laid there thinking, not good productive thoughts but ones that dragged me down. I thought about how frustrated I am to not be able to run, how because of my injury I stopped caring about what I eat and working out have slipped greatly… how I am frustrated by a dirty house… the dog snoring on the floor next to me… how once I got up I would not be able to find the things I need due to a torn apart house… and other such thoughts that made me in a sour mood by the time I finally got up.

As I stomped around the house (ok I am not proud to admit that, but it’s the truth) I thought about how frustrated I was by different things, I let new things start to bother me and continued down the crabby (ok maybe way more than crabby) road. The whole time I was thinking, poor me, I am such a victim. I mean seriously… it’s not my fault I broke my leg, the house being a mess because the bathroom re-model, defiantly not my choice….. After running around trying to find clothes, shoes, makeup, food and being fairly unsuccessful at most, I made enough noise to wake Phil up, who sweetly asked me if he could help with anything. Oh course my mood was so sour by this point I answer with a stream of “this is wrong… that is wrong… I hate this mess… why are we doing this… there is no food… blah blah blah. Poor Phil, he took the brunt of it.

After my tirade finished, Phil got out of bed to come over and hug me, I started to realize how dumb and immature I was being. Guilt washed over me, and I realized that all the things I was mad and upset about I choose. I am not a victim in life, but somehow I had fallen into the trap. After apologizing to Phil I ran out the door (since by now, I was running late as well).

I got into my car and the first song on the radio was the new song by Kris Allen, Live Like We’re Dying. The basis idea of the song is that we are only given so much time in a day so we better live with a purpose and make every moment count. OK, it hit me again. What if I get in a car accident on the way to work and my spew of anger was the last encounter I had with Phil? Is this how I want to be remembered? No, I want to make every moment count. As I drove I started to realize that all the things I was so upset about and wanting to blame on someone else was 100% me, not anyone else. I am the one who broke my leg, I knew something hurt, I made the choice to keep on running. I am the one who wanted to re-model the bathroom and knew full well that would mean a messy house for a while.

So where is my reset button? I would like to choose a different path this time. I would like to wake up and start my day with prayer, to thank God for another day to live, to love, to show this world Christ’s refection. To kiss my husband goodbye and tell him that I love him more than anything. Though I cannot re-do my morning I want to learn from it. I am choosing to take responsibility for my life and I am determined that even if it is slow progress to place God at the center and live every moment like it is my last, cause who knows, it could be.

As I continue with my day, my prayer is for Christ to be the center of my life, to be where I fix my eyes…

Center

You’re the center of the universe

Everything was made in You Jesus

Breath of every living thing

Everyone was made for You

You hold everything together

Christ be the center of our lives

Be the place we fix our eyes

Be the center of our lives

We lift our eyes to heaven

We wrap our lives around your life

We lift our eyes to heaven, to You – Charlie Hall

A Bathroom to Remember…

Yes it happened, we officially have no bathroom! Yes, I do realize most people would view this as a negative thing, and while I do miss my bathroom close enough to get up in the middle of the night without opening my eyes, we are one step closer to a newly remodeled bathroom!

Friday Phil and I discussed it and decided that we wanted to get going on the project and that since he is still unemployed this would be a great time to start a massive project like this. We started the project by heading to Home Depot on Friday and getting the supplies we needed.

Then Friday night with the help of our great friends, Charlie and Lindsay, completely tore the bathroom apart! It was way more work that we expected, the walls were a inch and a half of cement with a wire mesh entwined in it, Absolutely NO fun to get off the walls! By the end of Friday night we had all the walls down. Saturday we were able to finish tearing out the ceiling and floor. The ceiling was unbelievably nasty, first it was plaster, then sheetrock, then a batting of insulation, and last but not least a foot of cotton like insulation that POURED out of the ceiling ALL over us. We were totally covered with this nasty stuff. The floor was tile also and had close to an inch of cement also with mesh. Phil was amazing and was able to get it all up! Sunday we decided that the house was so unbelievable dirty we needed to take a time out and clean so that we could live somewhat normal lives amidst the construction. After a few hours of cleaning EVERYTHING, the house was back in shape. Though I am happy to report it is almost just as dirty again… sad day! Phil and Robbie, a good friend, were able to get the bazillion pound tub out of the bathroom, and get the new one in place! One step closer to new! Monday we did some electrical and put up new insulation in the ceiling and sheet rocked the ceiling. We also brought a full truck load and trailer load of construction garbage to the dump… it was over two TONS of stuff! Amazing… our house is going to be lighter! Thanks to Phil’s parents for letting us borrow their truck, we could have not done it without it!!

Ok, I am exhausted! We are both so encouraged by the work that got done and are really looking forward to a new bathroom. From this point on we will be working on tiling around the shower, sheet rocking the walls, installing new vanity, toilet, linen closet, floor and many other things.

My physical therapy appointment went really well on Friday! My therapist is awesome and was so helpful. I learned so much already and feel like this is really going to help me heal and learn how not to injure myself in the future. Even though this has been a pain I am so thankful for the people who have come alongside me and are helping me on the road to recovery.

Ok… are you ready….? Enjoy some pictures… I am sorry if you get dirty….

On our way to Home Depot!

Our Home Away from Home!

The empty trailer... soon to change!

The nasty old sink!

Lindsay putting the first few holes on the wall

I have waited for this day for so long!!

Do you like all the dust in the air?!

We put up plastic in attempts to keep the dust out of the rest of the house... kinda worked!

Trying out our new bathtub in Home Depot... yes, we are those people....

Ultimate man... pizza in one hand, tools in the other! (This was breakfast... oops)

Emily trying out the goggles we got for tearing out the ceiling... she is so cool!

A torn out bathroom with old plumbing!

Amost all done...

Getting the new tub into the house!!

The NEW tub! I covered it with target bags so that it does not get scratched up!

PD our dog hates loud noises so he hid in Emily's room with his head under her bed... very funny!

New insulation in the ceiling!

DRYWALL!!! :)

A Shameless Promotion

I know, I am using my blog for promotion... so sorry! If you need your taxes done, or know someone who does please think about my husband! He is doing taxes for people this season, and would love to help you out. He is charging less than it would be to do on TurboTax and WAY less than having another accountant do it! We would really appreciate you passing his name along to anyone!

A Thursday Evening Documentary…

Yesterday was so beautiful, we just had to got out into the sun! While I was at work, Phil was hard at work at home and did some great stuff, including cleaning out BOTH of our cars! Seriously, I should have taken pictures of before and after. After the long winter thay were so dirty, and earlier this week when we went to Como Park with the dog, he tracked a LOT of mud into Phil’s car… opps, sorry again Phil!

We have had an old clothes line in our backyard that takes up more room than we would like, we last fall decided to get rid of it. Half way through it was decided it was too much work for the time we had… needless to say it was about time we finally finished the project! Please enjoy a picture story of a Thursday evening project… (Please note, I AM sitting in a chair watching WITH my crutches… yes I am trying to take care of myself… but oh it’s hard!)

Digging out the 4 foot cement footings...

 PD and me "Supervising" Yes... we did a good job!

After the hard work we grilled... yes summer is coming!

Phil and what he calls "The Best Tool Ever!"

I am off to my first Physical Therapy appointment today… I am excited to start working on the healing process and hope I learn a lot to help me be a better runner.

AA for Procrastinators

Once again, I am using this blog to procrastinate… I really should be writing my five page paper on leadership and communication that is due… well… um…. tonight. I also should really be working on my presentation that I have to give in class…. Once again tonight… however I feel that writing a blog post is more important than grad school and my paper and presentation will still be there when I am done with this… right? I mean really, in ten years will I be more interested in reading my blog or paper… I think BLOG! (Don’t you like how I rationalize not doing homework?)

Ok, I will admit it, I am a very bad procrastinator. Honestly with most things, I just get it done. I would say I am fairly self motivated and really enjoy being on top of things. So why does this not translate into school!?

These last few days I have been greatly enjoying the warm weather and sunshine. The snow is almost completely gone from our yard; a huge feat considering the piles were up to my chin only a few weeks ago. Though I am learning to enjoy all seasons, I just can’t help but be relieved warmer weather is in its way. (Please do not tell me about the possible snow on Saturday… I am living in denial right now.) Monday we drove over to Como park (it is only a mile from our house) with the dog and enjoyed a walk. I forget how close we are to such a beautiful place. I am looking forward to summer runs there! The dog is in desperate need of some exercise since he has gotten almost none all winter… yes, I know I am a bad pet owner. We walked maybe a mile and when we got home he did not move the rest of the evening… kind of sad :) Once I can be walking more I am going to try and train a little with him, maybe I can get him in shape also!

Job update: We are still waiting to hear back from Phil’s company… there are still a few options, I guess the company’s are just moving really slow! I am praying we will hear something soon! In the mean time Phil is being so awesome at home. I am so thankful for a husband who is so great! He has made and brought me lunch to work the last few days, did all the laundry, is working on a bunch of little projects around the house, made food for our small group, and many other things! Have I mentioned that he is just a great guy and I am so blessed to have him for my husband?

Ok, my procrastination needs to be over… time for a paper and presentation… wish me luck!

Happy St. Patties Day! Anyone have fun plans?

I think we have been here before

Question: Why on Monday mornings does it seem things always go wrong? It’s like a rude awakening; yup it’s not the weekend anymore, welcome back to LIFE!

This morning we were greeted by some not fun news. I realize that I never talked about the fact the Phil’s contract position ended last Friday. Though there have been a few different possibilities, nothing has come up yet, so as of today Phil is at home waiting for a phone call. He was also in the running for what we thought was the perfect job, and found out they chose someone else… yes we found this out this morning… go figure.

Ok, to be honest, I am so confused and frustrated! I know that God has a plan, I am sure that He will take care of us, I know this has all happened for a reason. Though I know these things and have seen God work in our lives in ways we didn’t think were possible, somehow I still feel lost. I feel so human, so shakable. I just keep on praying that God will give me the faith to trust Him, to make it more than head knowledge.
Even as I say these things I feel stupid because I know that God has and will take care of us. He has shown this time and time again. I am excited to see what God has in store, and I really do pray that in my unbelief, God will continue to work in me to follow Him better everyday.

OK…. Therapy session is over…. Thank you for listening, I feel much better.

This weekend was so good for both Phil and me. Friday we had two couples over from our small group for dinner and games. It was a blast and we are continually thankful for great friends in our lives! Saturday, my cold got the best of me and so we spent the day relaxing. Though I felt really lazy it was so nice to just lie on the couch and sleep and relax. Sunday we slept in till WAY to late (honestly, I didn’t know I could sleep in that much anymore!) and when we got up headed outside to the beautiful sunshine. It was 63 and oh so very sunny. For March 14th, I believe we got a record amount of yard work done! The whole yard was just a mess after winter, so we got everything cleaned up, had a fire and burned a bunch of wood and the Christmas tree, took down the Christmas lights, cleaned the excessive amount of doggie presents all over the lawn, and even got an area behind our garage ready for new soil and grass! Phil even changed the oil in both of our cars; honestly the man can do ANYTHING! It felt so great to be outside in fresh air and getting stuff done! We are both very excited for all there is to do in the yard once things warm up even more.

If anyone knows of any job openings or contacts for Phil, we would greatly appreciate it!

Friday!

Ok, so I know I said that since my leg is not as bad as thought I will still be allowed to run the marathon, but maybe that just made it to my head because I AM SO EXCITED, I GET TO RUN THE MARATHON STILL! When I found out I possibly would not be able to run, my heart was broken and more than that I feel a responsibility to the children in Africa who need people to run for them. So, now I just want to run again… has it been six weeks yet?


This weekend we are looking forward to a relaxing time of doing nothing! We were going to tear the bathroom out but decided we are going to wait. I have bronchitis again (yes, this is the THIRD time this winter!!) and both thought that the dust we will create would only make me worse. So we have postponed for a little longer, maybe next weekend!

Hope you all have a great weekend!

I lost something, but I don't remember what it is...

Do you ever have one of those days where you just don’t have a brain? I feel like today has been one of those days for me! Every time I am not at my computer I have had great, deep thoughts about life, I mean the really good ones where you think… “This changes my whole perspective” and naturally my next though is, “I should blog about that.” So here I sit with all these great thoughts and perspectives and for the life of me cannot remember what they were. I guess this is where I need to just laugh at myself and move one!

So sorry to disappoint, no great thoughts here today, check again tomorrow, maybe I will have found my brain, I mean, that is if I can remember long enough that I am searching for it!


To better help you understand, I thought it was important to illustrate with a picture of how i feel...

Ok, maybe.  What did you say? How can I feel crazy on a beautiful beach on Mexico with Leo? (Leo is the penguin.... in case you were wondering....) Ok, here is really how I feel.....

OK.... I lied again... here is the truth... man this blog is really pulling the truth from me!!

I mean, the dog makes this pictures even crazier, yes?!

Six weeks....

Yesterday I had another appointment with the Orthopedic Specialist to go over the results of the MRI and to figure out the next steps with what to do with my leg. I knew going into the appointment that I could learn that I was done running for possible a really long time, and had been told to expect that by my doctor. However I learned the best possible news yesterday! There is a break in my tibia, about 5cm long (if you don’t know this is about an inch and a half long) BUT it is in a place that heals quickly!! She told me that if I keep weight off it and do nothing to stress it more it should heal in about SIX WEEKS!!!! I am honestly so relieved and excited. She said that since the marathon is a ways out still she sees no reason why I could not do a modified version of the marathon. (This might mean needing to walk a little so I don’t re-fracture the leg)

For the next six weeks I am supposed to stay on crutches as long as it hurts, but the longer I stay on crutches the better chance I have at being healed more for the marathon, so I am going to try and stick it them as long as I can stand it! I still have quite a bit of pain in the leg, so for now I am still “gimpy” as Phil likes to call me. I am also starting physical therapy next week and will be going weekly for a while, I have been told at least twelve weeks.

Even though I do not like being hurt, because of the injury I am getting training from athletic professionals who are going to work with me so that I am running well and without further injury. Most athletes need to be on a professional level to have trainers working with them, but because of this I will be able to really learn how to not just be a runner for a season of my life, but a runner for my whole life!

After we returned from the doctor I was so excited and thankful…. So what do you do when you are excited and thankful? ….. Make chocolate chip cookies of course! (Man, how did you not know that?!)

Enjoy my documentary of making cookies!!

MMMM, now come over to our house and help us eat the excessive amount of cookies we made!

It’s coming… Spring!

This morning as I was turning through my planner I realized that daylight savings time is this next Sunday! Spring is really coming!! Yesterday as Phil and I pulled into our driveway I also spotted the first visible grass in our yard, I forgot there was such a thing under this grey blanket of dirty snow! Though I keep on reminding myself that March and April can still bring snow, I cannot help but feel excitement for the coming warmth, green grass, trees with leafs, and best of all FLOWERS! (I often think I am living in the wrong climate…)

Though I love warmer weather and green grass and that wonderful smell the earth has as everything comes alive again, spring reminds me of things so much more important. After the snow has melted the world is left with the dirt and grime of the long winter, but then it rains. It rains and washes away the dirt and brings new life to everything. Even though this has been said probably about a million ways and billion different times, it reminds me of how God brings each season for a purpose. In my life I have experienced the winter, it has been cold and dark. There have also been wonderful times like when I can play out in the snow and make snow angels. But when spring approaches I am grateful. When the rain comes to clean the earth I want to stand out with my arms out and let it wash me.

Over this last weekend Phil and I enjoyed a great time with friends, we spent a great day with Phil’s parents, and on Sunday spent the day at Church volunteering. After the busy but fun weekend, I came down with a little cold and decided that I should stay home on Monday, so of course Phil decided he would only work a half day also, and got home about the time I was getting out of bed… we won’t say what time that was! It was so good to relax and catch up on some much needed sleep and just R&R.

The bathroom project now has an official “start date”…. THIS WEEKEND!! We are hoping to get started on Friday after work and get as much done over the weekend as possible. We will be tearing EVERYTHING out, down to the studs, so it will be a lot of work but well worth it in the end! On Saturday morning when I let the Dog out, I was surprised to find a huge box on the front step! Yes, the vanity has arrived! It is now sitting in the dining room ready for a bathroom to go in. I am going to take some pictures of the bathroom “before” and post them soon.

Over the weekend I heard from so many people who read this blog, it is so great to hear people enjoying my ramblings of life! Thanks for saying something, it's fun to hear! I love hearing your comments and thoughts so feel free to continue to comment! I am honestly honored that you would take time out of your busy life to read what I have to say.

I am off to the orthopedic specialist today for some long awaited answers… ok I know it has not been that long, but I am more than ready to hear how long the healing process will be and what is actually going on! I have also figured out another possible reason this happened… but that will have to wait for another day!

Oh and did you notice?!?! We finally changed the slide show! (Thanks to Phil!) These are pictures from our wonderful trip to Akumal Mexico over Christmas!

And the results…. More waiting!

You know how when there is an area in your life you need to work on it always comes up? Its like praying for humbleness, as soon as you do over and over again you're humbled! Well in my life this is patience and giving God control. If you know me well, you understand where I am coming from. I am a very planned organized person. I like to know what I am doing, when I am doing it, what will happen next… blah blah blah… Phil jokes all the time about the lists I make. When we moved I made a list of lists I needed to make. I know to normal people this seems, well, odd, but let’s face it, I’m not normal. Ok, and one more confession while I am at it, yes, my planner is color coded for each thing. Ok, I feel better admitting that!

So as you can see I tend to be a control freak and yes, this is something God is working on with me! I do want God to have the control in my life, and even though I still struggle with this, I have learned SO much over the last few years how life is really totally out of my control. Even though I am getting better at trusting God with my future I still have a long ways to go and I am continually reminded that I need to give everything over to the one who has the control!

Lately with this injury I have struggled with letting things go. Honestly I do not understand why God would tell me to run for kids in Africa only to allow me to get hurt. But I am in a place where I can say, “ok God, you allowed this, let me trust you with what you are doing.” I do not know what is going to happen, but I do trust that even if I am unable to run, God has something planned, even if that is just taking time off and running again next year…

I am still waiting to find out exactly what is going on, even though I BEGGED the lab tech (literally, I begged laying on the MRI table to tell me, yes he thought I was nuts!) to tell me what was going on, the only thing he would tell me is that he saw something and that I would have to wait to talk to my doctor on Tuesday about the results. So I wait… and I am honestly working really hard at trusting God in this time!

Though I still do not have any concrete answers I did find something out about my doctor that I thought was really cool. After my MRI the lab tech said something about my doctor being the best Orthopedic Specialist in the state, I thought he was just being nice and said something like, “yeah, why?” He said that she was nominated and selected to be the DOCTOR FOR THE US OLYMPIC SWIM TEAM!!! How cool is that?! I was really excited to learn this, and know that I am in really good hands also! (I MEAN SHE WORKS WITH MICHAEL PHELPS…)

So despite not understanding why this happened, I am learning to trust God through yet another thing… maybe I will get it right this time!

Happy Thursday!

OK, first let me say how grateful I am for friends and family who have supported me over the last few days. I appreciate knowing you all are there so much! Just so you all know, I am doing a lot better today!

Next, I must say how sore my hand and arms are from crutches! Unbelievable! :) I in no way want to pretend like I understand what it might be like to permanently have a disability, but wow I have gotten a great appreciation for what some go through everyday. Even just getting to and from work has been a challenge, much less stairs or opening doors. Even though this is not what I would have liked, I am grateful it is only temporary!

Tonight I have my MRI and will find out what the prognosis is for my leg… and yes, I am still praying that they will find nothing and say “oops we were wrong” and they let me run to my hearts content… and yes a few people have said I must be crazy… I’m not, I would just like to run!

Today is the first day of spring break at Northwestern, meaning that I have the place to myself for about ten days! I love it when students are hear, but there is something nice about the peace and quite when everyone is gone also. OK, I also love it because SPRING BREAK TIME IS HERE! That means we are getting closer to summer (I know I said I would enjoy where I am at, and I am… I just love SPRING!). Obviously since it is now getting warmer (Yes, 45 seems like a balmy sunny day) I am thinking about pulling out the summer shoes. *Phil, please do not try and stop me!*

Enjoy the sunshine, I hopefully will have a great update tomorrow!

Crutches

Sorry I did not post yesterday, I have to admit all day I was struggling with what to say. Sometimes I guess there are just no words for the things going on in your life.

As most of you know this last year my parents divorced and to be brutally honest, this has been one of the hardest things I have had to face. Though I cannot share details at this point, some major developments have happened over the weekend and yesterday that have forced me to make some extremely hard choices. If you think if it, I would greatly appreciate prayers for me and my siblings. At some point I may be able to share, but right now there are open wounds that must heal.

For an update on my leg… I went and saw the Orthopedic Specialist yesterday and was able to get a few more answers, unfortunately not the ones I was hoping for. She took more x-rays and is certain that I have fractured my leg. There are two places on the bone where you can fracture it from running. One is on the side, this is a fairly common injury in runners and takes about 6-8 weeks to heal. You can also fracture the tibia on the front on the bone (if you feel your shin this is the place I am talking about). This injury is a much longer recovery time. So of course she believes it is the front of my tibia the is fractured…

I have an MRI tomorrow to figure out how bad it really is and from there my doctor will be able to give me a time line for recovery. In the meantime, I am on crutches and not allowed any weight on my leg. I will also be doing physical therapy to help recovery. She said I would run again, but that I would not be running the marathon. More to come soon….

Even though these last few days have been a struggle I still feel a peace about everything that has happened. I have been on the verge of crying many times and am grieving the loss of a dream, but through it all I do know that God has a plan. Phil has been amazing helping me get around, doing things for me, even putting my socks on this morning for me! Megan our trainer is willing to work with me still and gave me a lot of hope that I will be able to continue even with this injury.

Another bend in the road…..

I have been writing out things in my head all weekend, I guess writing has become therapeutic for me. Life has taken yet another twist and turn, though this weekend was spend with a lot of joy and laughter I have had a few gut wrenching things happen also that have left me grappling once again for direction.

As you know I am a runner and am planning on running a marathon October 3rd for World Vision. I mentioned on Friday that last week I started running again after taking some time off to work with a personal trainer. I was really encouraged that even though I had not run for a while I was still able to run 3-4 miles a time without dying. Mid-week my right shin and knee started to hurt, but I honestly did not think much about it. I have no problem running through pain and in a strange way enjoy the sense of accomplishment after I have done something that was not fun at the time. So I kept running. I talked to my trainers and a few others who know about sports related injuries we all came to the conclusion that I just had really bad shin splints. I was bummed, but they are not a big deal to heal so was not to worried,

Friday night Phil took me out an a GREAT date, and after dinner we went to a movie. Almost the whole movie I was in excruciating pain and kept on moving trying to find a position where my leg did not hurt as bad. That night, sleeping even hurt. Saturday morning we went to the gym for our class again and during class I was doing everything but was almost feeling sick it hurt so much. After class I talked to Megan, our trainer, and she thought that I needed to get to a doctor as soon as possible.

When we got home I called and was able to get an appointment within the hour (seriously, this never happens!) After meeting with the doctor, we did a bunch of x-rays to see what was going on. From this, she was able to see signs leading her to believe that my right tibia is fractured. Though this cannot be confirmed 100% since x-rays do not show as much detail as she would need to know for sure, she said she was 95% sure this is it.

My next step is meeting with an Orthopedic Specialist tomorrow where she will be able to confirm the fracture. For right now, the first doctor believes that I will not be able to run for 6-12 months and for the next week I can have no impact on the leg. I am praying that I will learn something different tomorrow, but for now it looks like I will not be able to run the marathon.

Even though this is just an injury, my head and heart are having a really hard time accepting this. I feel such a passion and calling to do this for kids who do not have their own voice. It is not just about running, but running for a purpose. Honestly my heart is broken. I feel such a calling to do this, and do believe that God has told me to do this. I am confused why He would tell me to do this and then allow an injury to stop me. I do trust that God has a plan, I am just waiting to see what the next step is.